Excuse Enthusiast Pillows

"I would have gone on a run."

'Sun got in my eyes? Wind got hold of it? Struggling with 'Personal issues'?..'

'It's a genetic thing. My parents are too short for their weight, too.'

Reasons to cancel the run no 148: ' a leaf on the track.'

'Can I hand up my essay on Friday Miss. My ghostwriter is unwell at present.'

'Reasons to cancel run No. 148 'A leaf on the track''

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'The only difference between you and me, Flanders, is that I read the homework before I ate it.'

"I was just...er...conserving energy!"

'Late again. What's your excuse?; - 'Stop me if you've heard this one.'

"But, Dad... haven't you heard that we humans can only utilize 10% of our brain capacity?"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

Excuses for not going to the gym: Stopped on the way to the gym by an alien...

"I didn't it, I read it, so guess who just graduated cum laude from Dinsdale High?"

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"Someone must have planted them there."

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

Not tonight, I have a headache.

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

'I ate a lot of homework.'

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

'Sorry I'm late for my interview. There was a leaf on my driveway.'

'Billy can't come to school because he has a stomach ache? Wow!'

"Mr. Rod, my dad wants to clean the garage tomorrow...and he needs me to pack boxes and haul tons of stuff. It'll probably take all day!"

"Enjoy your little cold. You won't feel that bad, but it's disgusting enough to get you out of your office Christmas party."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'It's a compiltaion of my best excuses for not doing my homework...now available for download.'

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

'Why I was late for work'

'The dog ate my homework, and Mother shredded my share and tell.'

"I put catnip on my homework. I think he'll eat it!"

'You need to update your excuses. Instead of saying your dog ate your homework, try 'My computer was hacked'.'