Excuse Artisan Pillows

"We've run out of weather-based excuses for this month - we're going to have to find some moral grounds on which to boycott this party.'"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

My daddy ate my homework

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Internet Cafe.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

A boy and his spin patrol.

"A homeless person ate my homework."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

Adult Absence Notes.