Excuse Artisan Pillows

"We've run out of weather-based excuses for this month - we're going to have to find some moral grounds on which to boycott this party.'"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

My daddy ate my homework

Will eat your homework for $.

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

Internet Cafe.

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

Adult Absence Notes.

'I promoted Wetherby because he always comes up with better excuses.'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'