Excuse Architect Pillows

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

"My sister had my homework. The dog ate them both."

'They're helping gravity, sir. These files are what keep my desk from floating away.'

Relax, Dobson...I'm not here for another one of your crazy excuses...but it's good to know where to come if I ever need one.

'What am I doing? Crossing out ADD excuses my teachers aren't buying.'

"My brother never gets into trouble for anything...he has all his excuses on file and alphabetized!"

"A homeless person ate my homework."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'A dog ate my homework.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'My dog ate my computer.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

My daddy ate my homework

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'If we can't come up with better ideas, at least we should have better excuses.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

'My arms are getting shorter.'