Excavator Gifts

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

Call before you dig!

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

Geology.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm the sandman. Where did you think I was getting my sand all these years?"

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Thumbing a Lift.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Going Down?

How Gary got his groove back.

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I thought it was deeper here."

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

'Going up?'

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

'Going down?'

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

Welcome to Radio City Music Hall.

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Will assuage guilt for money.

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

Bush's Hacker

"The question is. Do you remembere where you buried your feelings?"

'Could I see your ground disturbance permit?!'

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

'Well, son, I supposed it all started when they hiked the minimum wage to $39.50....'

'For crying out loud! Someone hit the reset button!'