Excavator Pillows

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

Call before you dig!

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

Geology.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Thumbing a Lift.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Going Down?

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

"I thought it was deeper here."

How Gary got his groove back.

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

'Going up?'

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Welcome to Radio City Music Hall.

'Going down?'

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

'Yeah, I tried 'Open Sesame' ... then I just went at it with a backhoe.'

"The question is. Do you remembere where you buried your feelings?"

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

Will assuage guilt for money.

'Could I see your ground disturbance permit?!'

Archaeologists look at stratigraphy with irons in it - 'And right above the Stone Age strata you can clearly see artefacts from the 'Iron Age'!'

Political Polls, Inc: (Elevator): 'Up. Down, Undecided/don't know'

"Am I getting older, or having elevators started playing great music?"

'Well, son, I supposed it all started when they hiked the minimum wage to $39.50....'

'For crying out loud! Someone hit the reset button!'

"Never ask a retired archaeologist to go find something in the basement."