Evil Laugh Enthusiast Pillows

"Will this call be recorded? Maybe. And then again, maybe not. But you'll never know! Mwahahahahaha!"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

King and Jester

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

Trappist talk show.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

'You are here' T-shirt,

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

Ross Noble

Isaac Newton's brother, Bobo, discovers levity.

"It's just the milk talking."

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

I think we need to move to your usual four o'clock appointments to earlier in the day, Al. I find that every time I see you at four, I feel the need for cocktail hour at five.

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

Fish Pedicure

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

'Summited Mount Everest, did you? Was that just the one time?'

Parroting

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

Melvin's Glue-all

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"