Everyday Drinkers Gifts

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

The Reaper's Arms

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Beer Parasol.

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'The King of what?'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'I'm an atheist!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'