Everyday Drinkers T-Shirts

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

The Reaper's Arms

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Beer Parasol.

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'I'm an atheist!'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"