Ethics Seminar Survivor Gifts

"Sadly, office gossip lags a bit after these business ethics seminars."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"