Ethics Teacher Gifts

"What do you mean it's wrong? In ethics we learned the truth is always subjective!"

'It's true that I accepted the bribe, seduced the intern, and stole the money, but I did it with the nation's best interests in mind.'

'The Age - Morality Gap'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Anonymous Donations

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

Uncle Sam's Reflection

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."