Ethics Guru Gifts

'Good news: First-quarter profits should be strong and second-quarter prison sentences should be light.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

The Price of Freedom

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

If we run with this account, we'll be accused of being ethically challenged and morally bankrupt...anyone got a problem with that?

"So he said, 'Where's your moral compass?' So I ate him."

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