Ethics Analysts Gifts

'We want to beat the system, but we want the system to keep playing.'

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

First, do no harm. - Physician's oath. First, do no harm to each other. - Patient's oath. That second one is going to be tricky someday, Hippocrates.

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'Bad man. . . you are a Bad Man!'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Anonymous Donations

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'