Ethical Executive Gifts

Let's be honest here, and admit we're targeting the stupid-with-their-money demographic.

New Year's Resolutions...1 Don't abuse my position at the center of the Financial System to make jaw dropping amounts of money while dragging the economy to the edge of the abyss and ruining the lives of thousands of innocent people 2. Lose weight

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Killer Executive Suits.