Business Ethics Advocate Gifts

Corporate Responsibility - All front with nothing behind it.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Slavery Reparations

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Water company bonus.

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Anonymous Donations

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'You US firms think that money can buy everything...but what price an you put on loyalty, integrity, how could you compensate me for losing my friends?'

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."

Free-range C.E.O.s

'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Nepotism

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

"The secret of our success? Hard work, cutting edge research and bookkeeping issues!"

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'