Ethical Coach Gifts

You gave steroids to the 8-year-old girls on Team Caffeine? No sir! I merely enhanced their diet with a natural substance knows to boost strength and grit. What substance? You monster! Stay tuned

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Slavery Reparations

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'Don't get up!'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

Sportswasher's

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

Politeness opens doors

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

"I suppose it's too late to start testing on animals?"

Free-range C.E.O.s

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

An early encounter between progressive management philosophy and the law of the jungle.

"You rang, m'lord?"