Ethical Business Supporter Gifts

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

Will Work For Less.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"I suppose it's too late to start testing on animals?"

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

'You US firms think that money can buy everything...but what price an you put on loyalty, integrity, how could you compensate me for losing my friends?'

"Actually, sir, I’ve found that the shortest distance between two points is money."

Larry's snout was as clean as a whistle...this made some a little edgy.

Nepotism

Free-range C.E.O.s

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits