Ethical Business Enthusiast Gifts

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'We're forced to be more ethical since we can't afford the best lawyers.'

"Tell the public we don't want to hurt anyone. All we want is their money."

'And that division of ours that slaughters baby seals for no apparent reason - anybody ever figure out what that's about?'

'Bob, we know that you can do the job, even though you did exaggerate your resume.'

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Nice mission statement Farnsworth!'

CEO slumber

Others will fight for you

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Water company bonus.

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them?"

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Before we start, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

Nepotism