Etiquette Coach Gifts

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Etiquette and the mobile phone - "Oh hi. I'm on a training course."

"Bob was raised in the wilderness by salmon."

To Hell with Protocol, Walk In

'It was a complete surprise when the table-setting police arrived. I had no idea I was doing it wrong.'

Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.

'You don't have to say hello every time we pass.'

"Your first poppadum, sir?"

'A young lady does not say 'Caw Caw', a young lady says, 'Hello, I'm a crow of quality'.'

"It's rude to point!"

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

'Don't get up!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

"How much do you tip a masseuse?"

Youth Training Center: 'I don't believe I have had the pleasure!'

'I don't know if people are born inconsiderate, or the public transportation system made them that way.'

'Eat with your mouth closed.' 'How do I get the food in?'

Gentleman whale.

'That's Ludwig II, not Ludwig JUNIOR!'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"I didn't know I was SUPPOSED to R. S. V. P!"

Politeness opens doors

"I wish you wouldn't speak with your food vacuole full."

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"Do you really think the president's wife comes to the breakfast table dressed like that?"

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

"Please stop telling everyone to go to hell. . . it isn't very nice!"

"What are you, a trouble-maker or sumpin'!!!"

Life style guru

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"You rang, m'lord?"

Alderman Gobble: 'now then, girls! I've quite done. Can I get you any grub?'