Eternal Postponement Artist Gifts

Watch that reads 'Never, Not Now, Tomorrow, Later.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

The Forever Stamp

'He never listened to his mother!'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"How to deal with weeds."

"But I am working, Boss...My computer is running the data on improving employee productivity!"

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

How to deal with weeds

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"I kind of did my maths homework... I worked out that if I was going to watch TV and play a video game, I wouldn't have time to do any homework."

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

Cat with two trays: 'Ignore Immediately' and 'Ignore Later'.

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.

Since the company switched to transparent glass partitions, I'm suffering from web surfing withdrawal.'

Desk bins: Ignore Immediately/Ignore Later/Let Someone Else Ignore...

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

'I like my job, but I worry that it may lead to work.'