Eternal Postponement Artist T-Shirts

Watch that reads 'Never, Not Now, Tomorrow, Later.'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"Don't open me, you fool!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

The Forever Stamp

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

'He never listened to his mother!'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Get dressed and sculpt something already."

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"How to deal with weeds."

"But I am working, Boss...My computer is running the data on improving employee productivity!"

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"The great thing about being bad at your job is nobody asks you for help with their work."

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

How to deal with weeds

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"I kind of did my maths homework... I worked out that if I was going to watch TV and play a video game, I wouldn't have time to do any homework."

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

Cat with two trays: 'Ignore Immediately' and 'Ignore Later'.

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

Since the company switched to transparent glass partitions, I'm suffering from web surfing withdrawal.'

'I'll swear you've been willing that cloudburst on us . . !'

Desk bins: Ignore Immediately/Ignore Later/Let Someone Else Ignore...

'I like my job, but I worry that it may lead to work.'

I'm sorry. I can't find him. I've looked in all the usual hiding places.