Eternal Procrastinator T-Shirts

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Travelogue

The Forever Stamp

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Working from home to-do list.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."