Occasional Procrastinator T-Shirts

'I have 3 minutes to find a Valentines card or I'm a dead man.'

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Travelogue

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

The Forever Stamp

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

"How about fashionably never?"

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."