Eternal Procrastinator Pillows

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Travelogue

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Forever Stamp

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

Working from home to-do list.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"How about fashionably never?"