The Perpetual Procrastinator Pillows

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Travelogue

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Forever Stamp

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Working from home to-do list.

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."