Eternal Lunch Planner Gifts

"When are we going for lunch?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."