Eternal Lunch Planner Gifts

"When are we going for lunch?"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Cancel that turkey and prawn sandwich...

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"