School Lunch Planner Gifts

Pink slime hot dogs.

A Puppet Named Juan

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'This is going really well. I did a great job organizing this lecture.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Here we see the size of your portion, choice of toppings and cost per slice. If we're in agreement, I'll place the order."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"