Eternal Debaters Gifts

"More proof there's an afterlife."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Changing Minds

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

God's Fly Swat...

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"