Estranged Friend Gifts

"You're dead to me now!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"You're right, they are statins."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'Trade you lunches?'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

'Yes, old friend, we've traveled a long road, made a lot of stops, scooped up a lot of poop...'

"Same old crowd."

"Believe me, I didn't amass a billion dollar fortune just to impress you. But... it does, right?"

Who's Dead