Estranged Family Member Gifts

Another restraining order. This was the last time he'd try to plan a family reunion.

"We'd been estranged for years."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Licensed Therapist

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I didn't spark joy."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Dancing Doctor

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Cardiac Recovery.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Little help?"

Very Difficult Conversations

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Babies vs. Dogs

"You left your demons here last week."

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

Swinging

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'And this is Allan...he's the brain in the family!'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Captain steering house through flood.

celebrating a birth.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

Super hero dog.

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'