Estate Lawyer Gifts

"And to Nathan, I bequeath 200 terabytes of photos."

'I, Jackson Kluck, being of unsound mind, spent it all on therapy.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Graph Your Relatives!

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

For sale. Prime space under Jimmy's bed.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

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"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Contest of wills.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'