Estate-tax Lawyer Gifts

"When I go, I plan on taking at least two of my goddam estate-tax lawyers with me."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Flat tax - equal burden?

The transparent safe box of Panama

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Panama Papers Scandal

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'