Estate Executor Gifts

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'My cat died this morning. This is a legal nightmare. There are nine wills.' color

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

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"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Contest of wills.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Is the fire included?'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Mouse real estate!

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'