Estate Sale Gifts

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'The roof needs icing.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Reverse Mortgage.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Is the fire included?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Mouse real estate!

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."