Eskimo Enthusiast Gifts

'My flaming computer screen's frozen again!'

'Newlyweds.'

'Of course my wife is frigid...isn't everybody's?'

'You never knew your father -- He chilled out.'

'I never kiss below the mukluks on the first date!'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

The coffee's not working.

Ukraine Crisis

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

'It's the abominable snowman!'

'...but there MUST have been something about a rail go-slow on 'News at Ten'?'

Nato Membership

Clandestine cows.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Trainset

S**t Creek Halt

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

'So, I take it that diversity isn't a priority?'

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"