Erotic Fiction Fan Gifts

"Put down that sad soft porn for middle-aged women and come to bed."

The red room of pain.

"Not tonight. I've been exhausted since chapter three."

"What's this? 51 shades of grey?!"

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Use your imagination.

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

Hansel and Gretal

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Going Down?

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

Mermaids in love

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

'Well this is awkward.'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

"When you have a moment would you mind browning the meringue?"

"Hello, police? I appear to have killed my husband with chapters 24 of 50 Shades of Grey..."

A child watches as a small figure parachutes out of a tiny aeroplane that has collided with his mobile.

Hi again

The Mad Hatter finally gets taken down.

'I can't believe this: We spend all our time hiding from humans, but they keep on publishing stories about us anyway...'

"Do you believe in ghosts?"