Erotic Fiction Enthusiast Gifts

"'A writer?' she gasped, her perky breasts heaving. 'God I love writers!'"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Use your imagination.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Sex Section in the Library

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Boy looking inside a book.

Sexhibition of Old masters of Erotic Art.

'I read your resume. It's good, but I prefer reading non fiction.'

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

A caveman looks at erotic paintings

"Not tonight. I've been exhausted since chapter three."

'Santa is real, but I can't decide if he is the New Black or 50 Shades of Grey!'

Apparently she's building a 'red room of pain'....

Kink

'We love your resume, it it's true, we'd like to publish it as a memoir...if untrue, as fiction.'

"Perhaps it's time we stop reading about sex and just go to sleep."

Erotic Literature: 'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Put down that sad soft porn for middle-aged women and come to bed."

'Colin's gps was to prove useless in finding maureens 'G' spot.'

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

"How come we never collide with the burning heat of a thousand fires?"

Boy oh boy Kim, you were right! THIS IS a saucy novel!

The Story of Oh

"Interesting resume. Have you considered applying at a book publisher? You have quite a flair for fiction."

The red room of pain.