Erotic Fiction Enthusiast Gifts

"'A writer?' she gasped, her perky breasts heaving. 'God I love writers!'"

'Do you have 'Fifty Shades of Grey' in large print?'

"Hello, police? I appear to have killed my husband with chapters 24 of 50 Shades of Grey..."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Use your imagination.

Over 50 shades of grey available.

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

Sex Section in the Library

'Wow! Who knows what eroticism lurks in the heart of a sister.'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

Sexhibition of Old masters of Erotic Art.

Boy looking inside a book.

'I read your resume. It's good, but I prefer reading non fiction.'

Listen, just because he's moving from "fiction" to "literature" doesn't mean he's better than us.

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

"The oath according to the Tolkien Pixie God of Goblinara doesn't apply here Mr. Brown."

My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," an

A caveman looks at erotic paintings

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

The Legacy of 50 Shades of Grey: 'Stay calm madam we will have you out of there in no time.'

"Not tonight. I've been exhausted since chapter three."

Kink

'Santa is real, but I can't decide if he is the New Black or 50 Shades of Grey!'

Apparently she's building a 'red room of pain'....

'We love your resume, it it's true, we'd like to publish it as a memoir...if untrue, as fiction.'

Erotic Literature: 'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Put down that sad soft porn for middle-aged women and come to bed."

"The only 'Red Room of Pain' I've ever been in is the bank manager's office."

"Perhaps it's time we stop reading about sex and just go to sleep."

"What's this? 51 shades of grey?!"

'Colin's gps was to prove useless in finding maureens 'G' spot.'

"How come we never collide with the burning heat of a thousand fires?"

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

Boy oh boy Kim, you were right! THIS IS a saucy novel!

"One day I'll find my kindhearted sadomasochist..."