Erotic Fiction Fan Pillows

"Put down that sad soft porn for middle-aged women and come to bed."

The red room of pain.

"Not tonight. I've been exhausted since chapter three."

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Use your imagination.

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

Hansel and Gretal

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

Mermaids in love

Going Down?

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

'Well this is awkward.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

The Mad Hatter finally gets taken down.

"When you have a moment would you mind browning the meringue?"

A child watches as a small figure parachutes out of a tiny aeroplane that has collided with his mobile.

"Yes, I can talk with the animals, but what people don't realise is that the animals are so bloody boring."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

'I can't believe this: We spend all our time hiding from humans, but they keep on publishing stories about us anyway...'

Keri Hulme

Louisa May Alcott

"Might I suggest we go to your place as mine is nothing more than a living hell hole."