Er Enthusiast Gifts

'Sir, for the last two hours your constant cries of pain have been disturbing the other people in the waiting room. Please stop.' (based on true story.) St. Elizabeth's Hospital

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"The machine is making a funny noise and the green line went flat!"

'Doctor, doctor, healthcare in emergency!'

'It was a blind date,Doctor - I never knew she was a cougar.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I need to tinkle."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Dog Park

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Under pressure.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Deflator mouse

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Useless add-ons.

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

Motor Tourism

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'