Er Enthusiast Gifts

'Sir, for the last two hours your constant cries of pain have been disturbing the other people in the waiting room. Please stop.' (based on true story.) St. Elizabeth's Hospital

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"The machine is making a funny noise and the green line went flat!"

'Doctor, doctor, healthcare in emergency!'

'It was a blind date,Doctor - I never knew she was a cougar.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I need to tinkle."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Dog Park

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Under pressure.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Useless add-ons.

Motor Tourism

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Deflator mouse

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.