Equine Culture Gifts

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

Skipping Horse

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

High Riders of the Old West

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

First past the post.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

K9 Literati.

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

'The butler did it.'

A Tongue Stud.

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 2

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

'Aside from being a jackass, is there anything else that would qualify you for a position in management?'

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

'Uh? A female vet?'

Pony Love...

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

A Few Common Ailments

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'