Equine Culture Gifts

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

Skipping Horse

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

High Riders of the Old West

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

First past the post.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

K9 Literati.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

'The butler did it.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."

A Tongue Stud.

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

Pony Love...

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

'Uh? A female vet?'

'Aside from being a jackass, is there anything else that would qualify you for a position in management?'

'I know you're falling for her, but be careful. Remember: Love is blinders.'

A Few Common Ailments

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 2

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'