Epic Journey Planner T-Shirts

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

Tourists

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Duck Hunt

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Planned service changes

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'Some action figures! - They just STAND there!'

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"Have you decided where to travel?"

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"Help! It's a sprawling epic!"

Travel Advice to Dog Owners. . . On those long car trips allow time to stop so he can do his business.

'The Federal Government today issued an order to American citizens to stay out of countries whose names begin with a 'B'....'

"Mabel, you are becoming a control freak..."

Signpost to London and Cairo with Umbrella and Parasol.

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'