Romantic Escapade Planner T-Shirts

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Yes, a two centre holiday sounds good to me. I'll go to Paris, where do you fancy?'

I'm having an affair so I've got to look good in bed.

Fountain of Youth

Duck Hunt

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

"How much further away from it all will we be going?"

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

'I'm going to love having me in Haiti.'

'Know any other bed-time tricks?'

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'Two please-and I mean TWO boats!'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

Two bedbugs after a tryst.

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"It's not the timing of our relationship that's wrong. It's the lighting."

How to feel confident in love & war

Six arms, no waiting.

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"Have you got any after ten tours for people who never get up before eight-thirty?"

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

'Let's go somewhere where I can be alone.'

Fourplay.

"I dreamt I was on a desert island with seven starving women."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'Until you arrived I was thinking of suing my travel agent!'

When packing for a weekend with Enid, Chad allowed for all kinds of emotional weather.