Epa Worker Gifts

'I think we should report this coffee to the environmental inspector.'

Mario Draghi

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Where's my glove?'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'I'd say you're a little late...'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"Anger management Inc." "Waste management Corp."

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

How Americans Can Get Help

"Too much caffeine for Mr. Hopper"

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

Black Hole Corks

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Hey, Mom, you have a farmer's tan.'

'For cryin' out loud, will you get back into your body?! It's just a concussion.'

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

Will work for manure.