E.p.a. Inspector Gifts

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Office of quality assurance"

'You forgot the product label.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Real Estate Life

'....Why is it shaped like a bomb?!'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

Safety Pin

Lighthouse has energy efficient bulb.

'Very impressive, gentlemen.'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

'I think we should report this coffee to the environmental inspector.'

Safety First.

'They say he's toughest inspector around.'

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

For sale

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

"Zero emissions - I'm in EPA heaven."

'That's not subsidence. That's land rising up on either side.'

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

'Actually, I don't know what I was thinking hiring you, Jack.'

"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"We've received complaints that you're feeding them nothing but slop three meals a day."

"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."

'Sure, that's stopping the current chemical release, but what about the other 31 million unregulated chemicals out there?'