E.p.a. Inspector Gifts

"Bush's post-presidential job options"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Office of quality assurance"

'You forgot the product label.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

Real Estate Life

'....Why is it shaped like a bomb?!'

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

Safety Pin

Lighthouse has energy efficient bulb.

'Very impressive, gentlemen.'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

'I think we should report this coffee to the environmental inspector.'

'They say he's toughest inspector around.'

Boss, are you sure I should dump our toxic waste in the creek? Of course, minion. Little known fact … While everyone was obsessed with Trump's inauguration crowd size, he quietly froze all grants and contracts by the Environmental Protection Agency. The township's Department of Monitoring-Toxic-Waste-in-the-Creek lost its funding and had to lay off its inspectors. Why do we even have toxic waste? We're a cafe. No reason. Say, did you know it's .07% cheaper to import coffee beans from Chernobyl?

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

For sale

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

Safety First.

"Zero emissions - I'm in EPA heaven."

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

'That's not subsidence. That's land rising up on either side.'

"I don't know - the EPA was here when I left last night."

"I knew those drones were bad news..."

'Actually, I don't know what I was thinking hiring you, Jack.'

Harbor Inspection Bureau. Well, it's time for the pier review again.

"We've received complaints that you're feeding them nothing but slop three meals a day."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."