Environmental Inspector Gifts

'You forgot the product label.'

'Have you got an Environmental Impact Statement for that castle, son?'

'Sure, that's stopping the current chemical release, but what about the other 31 million unregulated chemicals out there?'

Boss, are you sure I should dump our toxic waste in the creek? Of course, minion. Little known fact … While everyone was obsessed with Trump's inauguration crowd size, he quietly froze all grants and contracts by the Environmental Protection Agency. The township's Department of Monitoring-Toxic-Waste-in-the-Creek lost its funding and had to lay off its inspectors. Why do we even have toxic waste? We're a cafe. No reason. Say, did you know it's .07% cheaper to import coffee beans from Chernobyl?

'Very impressive, gentlemen.'

Henry, worried his old car wouldn't pass a smog inspection, took his washer. It passed, but he was ticketed for driving an appliance without a license.

'I think we should report this coffee to the environmental inspector.'

Lighthouse has energy efficient bulb.

The interested bystanders.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Evolution.

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"The Nominees"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

'That's subsidence Sir Bryan - The charts are over here.'

'We finally do have meaningful tax reform, sir. This year's form is printed on recycled paper.'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

“It’s a pre-war building, but you’ll see they’ve kept most of the details.”

Under New Mismanagement

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

Dark Clouds

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Damn these sprinklers and government fire regulations.