Environment Minister Gifts

By upgrading our tanks & trucks to burn 50 less harmful fuel emissions, Rona, we can kill and destroy with a clear conscience.

The Jeopardy of Progress

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

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"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

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'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Humans...What is their purpose?

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

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'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

North Pole

The Environmentalist

The Solar System (after deregulation)

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Deforestation.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Polluted geese