Enthusiastic Renovator Gifts

DIY Disaster.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

Renovation work at Mount Rushmore.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Painting and decorating

'... And with a little imagination, the workshop and reindeer stables could easily be converted into additional bedrooms.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Changing house name.