Home Renovator At Heart Gifts

Homes for sale - some assembly required.

'I know we're living under a park bench. Where is it written you can't put a roof on it.'

"It's a quote from the builder, he's wanting £900 just to come around and sneer at us!"

Painting by the numbers for adults

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

"I love what you've done with him."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'How are you doing on your side?'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Man buys 'Do It Yourself' helper.

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.