Home Renovator Gifts

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'It's a quote from the builder...he says that the ?8500 will just about cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'Any more change orders from you, and you'll get to declare me as a dependent on your income taxes.'

"Damn wrong wall."

'What makes you think my kitchen was fitted by cowboys?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'I can't afford to move, so I'm having an extension done.'

'I know you wanted to finish early, but we are only doing a bathroom in a prefab.'

'Our bill was lower than our estimate.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Another day, another 100 building code violations cited.'

Never discuss politics with painters.

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

'I'd like to borrow a hammer, lots of nails, a saw, a level, paint brush and roller, and, oh, yes, I'll need a lawn mower, some....'

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

"Be thankful it doesn't look like someone you know."

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

'I distinctly said an extension out into the garden!'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

"What you have to ask yourself is, do you want to get on the property ladder or not?"

"I don't recommend extending into the basement."

'This is an exceptional buy if you're the kind of people who like to tinker around the house.'

'Have you considered a second bathroom?'

'Sorry dear, can you remind me again, which one's the lavatory?'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'I'm spending our Home Improvement Grant on a leaving party for you.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

'I'm having wall to wall odour eaters fitted.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Don't you worry yourself sir...This is the new non-slip concrete