Home Renovator Gifts

"I put in a skylight and it's made a world of difference."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'It's a quote from the builder...he says that the ?8500 will just about cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!'

'Any more change orders from you, and you'll get to declare me as a dependent on your income taxes.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Damn wrong wall."

'What makes you think my kitchen was fitted by cowboys?'

'I can't afford to move, so I'm having an extension done.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Our bill was lower than our estimate.'

'I know you wanted to finish early, but we are only doing a bathroom in a prefab.'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

'Another day, another 100 building code violations cited.'

'I'd like to borrow a hammer, lots of nails, a saw, a level, paint brush and roller, and, oh, yes, I'll need a lawn mower, some....'

"I've decided to redecorate...starting with you!"

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

'I distinctly said an extension out into the garden!'

"Be thankful it doesn't look like someone you know."

Never discuss politics with painters.

'Have you considered a second bathroom?'

'Sorry dear, can you remind me again, which one's the lavatory?'

'This is an exceptional buy if you're the kind of people who like to tinker around the house.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'I'm spending our Home Improvement Grant on a leaving party for you.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

'I'm having wall to wall odour eaters fitted.'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

'Don't you worry yourself sir...This is the new non-slip concrete

Building Supplies Hire Centre

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"It's a quote form the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"