Enthusiastic Parent Gifts

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Where do I put the batteries?'