Optimistic Parent Gifts

"Or, it could be a huge advantage."

'I'm sure she'll stop soon.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

This is Twig's scene. Get ready! That's her! Where? There! Too late. Nice shot of Jessie Caldwell. Wasn't she fabulous.

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"